Table of contents
What OCD really is…
When most people hear “OCD,” they picture someone who loves cleaning, organizing, or keeping everything perfectly in place.
I used to think that too.
But living with OCD as a mom has shown me that it’s so much more than that—and honestly, it’s something that’s really hard to explain unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
Because OCD isn’t about being neat.
It’s about what’s happening in your mind.
What people think OCD is
- Constant cleaning
- Organizing everything perfectly
- Wanting things to look “just right”
And while that can be part of it for some people, that’s only a small piece of the picture.
For many of us, OCD has nothing to do with being clean at all.
What OCD actually feels like
For me, and most people with OCD, it feels like being stuck in your own head.
It can look like…
- Thoughts that won’t go away, no matter how hard you try
- Replaying the same thing in your head, over and over again (a loop that won’t stop)
- Feeling like you have to do something a certain way or something bad might happen
- Questioning things that have already been done
- Needing reassurance but never really feeling relieved
- Becoming overly obsessed with something that might seem normal or average to someone else, but it feels extremely urgent to your brain to keep obsessing over it.
Sometimes it doesn’t even make logical sense—but it still feels very real.
And the hardest part?
Knowing the thoughts don’t make sense… but still feeling like you can’t ignore them..
If you aren’t familiar with OCD, one thing to note is it shows up in different “themes”.
Here are some examples of OCD themes I’ve dealt with in my personal life:
- Harm OCD – constantly being worried that myself or my children will be harmed in some way (this one was the hardest theme I’ve dealt with!). This can cause horrible intrusive thoughts, and always make you feel like your out of control, so in order to “take control” back you are constantly checking for safety/precautions and reassurance.
- Contamination OCD – This is the fear of germs or things being unclean, and I think this is where people get the idea that OCD is just about cleanliness but this subtype is often misunderstood. It’s not just being scared of germs, it’s not eating for days because of the fear your food could make you sick. Or having to wash your hands a ridiculous amount of times because of the fear you could pick up an illness on your hands while out in public. There’s so many different things that could fit into this theme and I highly recommend researching it!
- Checking OCD – This shows up as repeatedly checking things due to the fear of something bad happening in case you missed something. This has showed up in my life as having to check the doors to my house to make sure they’re locked 3+ times so no one breaks in and it’s my fault cause I didn’t check the doors. Or checking the stove and oven a certain amount of times before we leave or go to bed, and one that took a huge toll on me and went hand in hand with my harm OCD… checking 10+ times before I could go to sleep to make sure my kids were breathing. Even then I’d wake up during the night to check them AGAIN because I was so worried they’d stop breathing and it’d somehow be my fault if I didn’t check again and again and again. This was the first positive side effect of my medication when I first started taking an SSRI for my OCD, I no longer felt the need to check more than once or twice and I was good and you can imagine how much of a relief that was!
The intrusive thoughts no one talks about
One of the most difficult parts of having OCD, is the intrusive thoughts that come along with it.
These are thoughts that can feel…
- Scary and frightening
- Unwanted
- Completely out of character
And they can show up out of nowhere.
As a mom, this part can feel especially heavy.
Because your mind can latch onto the things you care about most—and that can make the thoughts even more distressing.
It doesn’t mean anything about who you are.
But it can feel like it does.
What OCD feels like as a mom…
Being a mom with OCD can be exhausting in a way that’s hard to put into words.
You’re not just taking care of your kids—you’re also:
- Managing constant mental noise
- Trying to stay present while your brain is spiraling
- Fights thoughts that don’t reflect who you are
- Feeling guilty for things you didn’t choose to think
- Constant irrational fears that replay in your mind 24/7 and can make life harder to live
- Depression due to untreated OCD
There are moments where everything feels overwhelming, even if nothing looks overwhelming on the outside.
And that can be really isolating.
As a mom, this part can feel especially heavy.
Things That Have Helped Me (Even Just a Little)
I’m still figuring this out as I go, but a few things that have helped me are:
Living with OCD
- Taking a step back when I feel overwhelmed
- Addressing OCD and calling it out for what it is, which is just an OCD thought, not a fact
- Letting myself have imperfect days. Just because one day is especially harder with OCD, doesn’t mean they’ll all be.
- Talking about it with someone, instead of keeping it all in. It can be extremely helpful for someone to hear your thoughts, and tell you it is just OCD messing with your head, instead of a real urgent situation like your brain tries to convince you of.
- Giving myself grace when my mind feels heavy. Constantly feeling like I have to have perfect mental health all the time, can lead to unwanted burnout, and allowing myself to not have as good of days, helps me to stay on track long term.
- MEDICATION. I cannot express to you, the difference that an SSRI has made in my life when it comes to living with OCD. I’ve not ever been a fan of being on medication, but realizing just how much my OCD was holding me back and keeping me from being the me I knew was in there somewhere, changed my mindset completely. Why allow yourself to suffer when there is proven treatment for OCD? There’s one thought I always keep in the back of my head for when I’m questioning if medication is the right choice and that is “If a diabetic needed insulin to bring their sugar back to normal, so they can live a life similar to non-diabetics, then why would I
There are moments where everything feels overwhelming, even if nothing looks overwhelming on the outside.
And that can be really isolating.
As a mom, this part can feel especially heavy.
Final thoughts
OCD isn’t just about cleaning.
It’s about the mental battles that no one else can see.
And for moms, those battles can feel even heavier.
If you’re in the middle of it right now, just know this:
You’re doing better than you think.
And even on the hard days—you’re still showing up.
And that matters more than anything.
Key Takeaways
- OCD is often misunderstood; it involves much more than just cleanliness or organization.
- For many, OCD manifests as intrusive thoughts, endless loops of worry, and irrational fears that can feel overwhelming.
- As a mom with OCD, one juggles constant mental noise while trying to care for children, which can feel isolating.
- Helpful strategies include recognizing OCD thoughts for what they are, seeking support, and considering medication as a viable treatment.
- OCD’s challenges are often internal and hidden, especially for mothers, yet perseverance through difficult days is commendable.
